Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Hearts, Girls, and Advice

I wanted to mention the Target $1 bin. There are always goodies for holidays. But it gets picked over fast. On Monday, I bought the heart sign/plaque for $1. It looks even better in a frame. 

Funny thing is, this is the exact advice I gave my daughter last week. It's a piece of advice that is hard to give. Kind of like giving your own heart away. I should be used to it by now. My girl was born with a voice, a little independent thing with a dreaming heart. She started picking out her own clothes around age 4 and by 6, there were no more pink rooms. Speaking of which...
Many of you have already seen this, but in case you haven't, Ms. Smarty Pants, Laura just completed a nursery for her great niece. Look how adorable it is. 




Isn't this presh?  There are a ton more cute details in this room. Go check them out! 

If only they could stay little forever...

So what do you tell a girl who talks about quitting college? I've already gone over all the logic. The best I could say is "follow your heart." She knows the other choice is a job, (worked since age 16 so no fear there.)  Discouragement has set in after finding out a lot more hours are needed than anticipated. I remember being frustrated in college myself. They list classes on the degree plans, then don't offer them. Like I told her, it's part of the process. Aggravating, but educating yourself.  She's a fighter. I never thought "quit" would be in her vocabulary.
What advice would you give?

17 comments:

Kim @ Savvy Southern Style said...

I would let her do what she wants to. My mom made me go to college even though I didn't want to and I hated it and finally quit after two years when she finally saw me break down crying and finally listened to me.

Elaine @ Sunny Simple Life said...

This is so hard. I wanted to quit after a rough freshman year and my mom was tough. She said get ready for rent, car insurance and full time work at low pay. She had me seemy academic counselor at which time I could decide. After what he had to say about how hard it would be to get back in and continue, I stayed and boy was I glad I did. My heart goes out as I have my oldest, the most motivated girl ever and my second really the brightest but no motivated. Kills me. She has not declared a major and doesn't know what she wants to do but so far is still not saying she doesn't want to go. Maybe she could see the academic counselor and an outsiders words might help her. It is so hard to get a job now. Good jobs are scarce and without a degree even more rare. Let me know how it works out. I feel for you and am in the trenches too right there with you. In the end we can only guide them and they will do what they want.

Amy @MaisonDecor said...

I think I would tell her she can quit after the semester if she still wants to...but she has to maintain a C average or better. Sometimes it feels too hard, and it might be a little depression and overwhelmed feelings all swirling inside her right now. But life isn't about the easy way out...so maybe she will see she won't want to walk away after she was able to make it through this semester...

podso said...

Maybe taking time off would be good for her. Time to recharge, reassess and know that she really wants to go to college or needs to for her career hopes. You know in England people take a gap year between high school and college. Sometimes with that extra time they are more ready to make the commitment to further study. Just a thought.

What a sweet, sweet nursery!

Julie Harward said...

Darling room...and I think your gut feeling and the advise you gave her is the right thing. Also, remind her to pray...He know all her needs because He know her like no one else does. :D

Melissa said...

That it is a tough one, I quit college. However at the time, I had just been dumped by my fiance, and my whole life felt like it was in upheaval. I had a great job, and I just took on more hours. 3 years later, I was married to my hubby, and have never gone back to college. I can't say as I miss it at this point, 13 years later. I am a stay at home mom, and I love it. But....when hubby and I talk about what ifs, such as him dying while our daughter is still young, or at home, I then wonder if I would have been better off having that degree. Maybe she just needs a semester off? I do remember getting to a point where I was just sick of school and needed a break. Usually that was about when spring break started. :) I hope all goes well!

Andrea said...

Firstly, I love that nursery! We are decorating ours this weekend. Secondly, I too fear that my girls won't go to university. Both my hubby and I have 8 years of full time univ under our belts (me a vet, him an engineer). We fought long and hard, stressed over exams, stayed home on weekends to study while friends partied (mind you, we had our share of fun, too), but in the end, we made a success of ourselves, and are now able to enjoy that hard, hard work. However, if her heart isn't into it (or my daughters, for that matter), then she should follow her heart. It may lead back to college one day, or may not. There are so many other great careers out there that don't require your avg univ degree (trades, tech school etc). I think I'd be hoping my daughters would stay in school, too, but ultimately, your support of her decision will mean more than anything to her. g'luck to her and her choice!

Genie -- Paris and Beyond said...

Outline the choices (and consequences) and then ask her to think 5 or ten years in the future, to imagine her life in one choice and then in the other.

Ask her to wait a month to make the decision (or to the end of the semester). It may make a difference in her decision.

It is difficult to let the little birds fly from the nest when you can see the predators on the ground below.

Bises,
Genie

Blondie's Journal said...

This is a tough one. I hate to see my kids unhappy, yet I think they see the world with rose colored glasses. My daughter works and goes to school. She always has money trouble. I tell her, "Welcome to the big world."

I wish you a lot of luck and patience in dealing with this.

XO,
Jane

Pamela Bates of Mercantile Muse said...

HHHmmmmm. That's a tough one, and I'm not a Mother. However, I 'was' a college student in my sophomore year when I started to think it might not be for me. My parents obviously discouraged me, trying to impart just how important it would be to my future. In the end though, they left it up to me. I changed my mind at the last possible minute before registration, after trying to find a job that would be decent enough to survive on. I'm glad I changed my mind. The relationships I have with my college gals are probably the most important thing I gained. I rely on them through good and bad and don't know what life would be like without them. That of course is not the only reason I'm glad I changed my mind. In the end, I'd bet that you've raised your daughter to be able to make the best decision for herself at this point in her life. I wouldn't look at it as quitting per se, but more like being true to herself which is probably the most imporant thing a person can do. I know this doesn't make it any easier on you as a mom, but I think you gave her the right advice, I would just stress to her that it's an important decision and equally important that she thing about the repercussions.

Heather said...

It's so hard for young adults nowadays. It used to be that one could go to college, graduate, and easily get a job. That's not true anymore. I was just telling my daughter the other day that I thought that after earning a teaching credential, I'd always be able to find a job, which isn't true anymore. It sounds like your daughter is going through a rough patch. With your support, I'm sure she'll figure out what's best for her. Sending hugs your way...

Ann from On Sutton Place said...

I went to college right after high school. I went where my brother attended because it was easier for my parents. 2 kids in one place sort of thing. After one year I knew I didn't fit in...it was sort of a party school. I was shy and quiet and so not a partier. I didn't want to go back after my Freshman year. My parents let me quit without enouraging me to go someplace else and continue my education. I have always regretted not trying to find a college where I could excel and where I fit in. So...that's my story. Because of this both of my kids pretty much always knew that college wasn't a choice. They knew they were going no matter what. They both have good jobs and don't have to struggle. I struggled. I still, at the age of 52, don't make enough money to support myself if I had to do it on my own. I have always felt just a little bit inferior to my co-workers who are college educated. It's not a good feeling. I would hate for your daughter to ever feel that way. Good luck with this. I'll be thinking of you.

raggygirlvintage said...

I think sometimes we can see a little further down the road than our kids. maybe a change of college or course? It's a tough one, you know her best!
Tracey

Cindy said...

My heart goes out to you, Tammy. My girl was sick of college a couple of times through the four years and wanted to quit, she didn't and she was so glad later that she hadn't.
I will help you pray.
Love and hugs, Cindy

Laura at Ms. Smartie Pants said...

Thanks for sharing! And you know, I'll be praying for the 2 of you!

Dayle said...

My honest opinion is to do exactly as you have done. Tell her to follow her heart. Let's be honest, not every person is benefited from 4 years of college, and, quite frankly, I have very little faith in the higher education system these days. My daughter didn't come close to finishing college, but like your daughter, she has worked since high school. She has a great job, making great money (more than a lot of college grads her age), and I couldn't be happier for her.

Having said all of that (and that was way more than intended), I would hate to see her look back on this time with regret. It's clearly something to pray about.

thistlewoodfarm said...

That is a tough challenge. I know that so many people can get overwhelmed with college. I think you know her best and whatever advice you give her will guide her in making a decision!
blessings,
karianne