Happy Valentine's Day

You make me happy!  
Have a cupcake and a smile!

The Secret to Romance

Via

I love February, the month of hearts, flowers and romance. 

Romance is defined by our personal expectations.  Definitions vary from person to person and is usually not the same for a man and a woman. 
In this post, I will share with you my personal journey of romance.

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Happy Pink Saturday by the way! You can enjoy lots of romantic pinks at this great party hosted by Ms. Beverly at How Sweet the Sound!


My husband and I teach a young marrieds Sunday School class and conduct marriage seminars. In split sessions, I always let the girls in on the BIGGEST SECRET for ROMANCE.

So here it is.

Ready?


He can't read your mind.  
You already knew that didn't you?  But if we know this, why do we (including myself) expect differently? 

Here's the key to using the secret weapon. 

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Tell him what you expect.   

The greatest source of disappointment is unmet expectations. We expect, don't receive and then become disappointed.  Don't buy into that lie of "if I have to tell him, then it will mean nothing."  Have you tried it?

Here's the story of how I learned to use the key.

I'm the biggest sap for romance.  My hubby is the practical type.  But that does not stop this girl from dreaming.  You've probably seen my glasses by now.

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Before we married, I fantasized about how romantic the wedding day would be.  It would start with a knock on the door and there awaiting would be a special gift from my beloved. You've seen it on the movies or read it in a book.  After all, this is where we get most of our crazy expectations.  Most men do not read these books or watch these movies, except when forced, so they are kind of out of the loop. Doc  is was out of the loop.

He's not a romantic, at least not the storybook kind.  He's Dr. Consistent.  I lovingly embrace that trait preferring daily kindness and consideration over expensive gifts. 

Gifts are icing on the cake. 

I want to have my cake and eat it too.
   I decided we would have THE  fairy tale day and informed Doc. As always, he agreed to my whimsy.  (Love him.) I explain this expectation idea to which he replies, "So what do you want?"   I don't know!  Don't make me spell that out too.  Just give me a gift.  

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Oh for shame!  Did I ask for a gift?  You bet your little storybook heart! 

A few days before the wedding, we were out buying last minute things on a zapped budget.  As we walked by the perfume counter,  I casually mentioned, "Ralph Lauren perfume smells so good but I am not spending anything else."  It seemed frivolous when we had out of town guests coming, dinners to host, loose ends to tie up and  most of all, our dream honeymoon coming up. 

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Fast forward to the blissful day.  The girls and I were getting ready when there was a knock at the door.  A card was peeking out from under the door.  We all froze and stood at attention until finally someone decided to open the door. 

There it sat. My fantasy - in the form of a big gorgeous gift wrapped box complete with shiny pink satin ribbon and a bow.  

a-la-parisieene

 Bonus? I had an audience. 
I mean, doesn't it feel good when others see how romantic your man is? 
All eyes turned to me as I carefully opened the envelope with trembling hands, and then in a trembling voice read his handwritten, earth moving, love message inside. 
There was not a dry eye in the room.  At that point, I don't think anyone really cared what was in the box. 
He got it. 
He really got it!

I untied the satin ribbon and opened the lid. Yep, you guessed it.-a huge collection of RL Romance perfumes and lotions.  

Oh yeah, he triple got it.

 Talking about feeling special!  I know perfume is not a big ticket gift but it was priceless to me! Another light bulb moment- have realistic expectations!

I didn't dare let the girls in on my little "secret." It might have tainted the moment. 
My heart rang out, "I am marrying my soul mate, my man of romance!"

That day romance was redefined for me.  I discovered the moment was no less special than if he had done it on his own.  The longer we are married the less requests I have to make.  He knows me, knows what I want. Why?  Not because he's clairvoyant but because I am teaching him.  Never demanding, never expecting.  Communication works.  That's all I can say ladies.  It works.

Maybe you are blessed to be married to Dr. Romance.  Please do not wave it in the face of any Mrs. Consistent.  We are  thrilled that our man loves us enough to give us exactly what we want, even when we have to ask for it.  The real blessing is having a man who wants to please you.  
If you ask me, it's a win-win.

May your heart be filled with romance and your mind be filled with reasonable expectations.

Decorating for the 5 Senses

Valentine's Day is the perfect time to incorporate all five senses into your room decor.  
Usually a room will appeal to the obvious two, sight and touch. 
I'm bringing in the other three, in honor of those I love.

Rather than scatter Valentine decor throughout the house, I prefer to choose a spot, like the foyer, and make the most of it.  
Hopefully, when you enter my house, your mood will be instantly uplifted by a sensory experience.



Click on this clip to see how music can change your mood.

We play a mix of Christian, instrumental and holiday music throughout our home year round. Many nights after the kids have gone to bed, Doc and I enjoy playing romantic music. It helps us to stop talking about life's stressful things and refocus on each other.

I always burn candles. A good, but not overpowering, fragrance will really envelop your guests and make them feel welcome. Candles also create a special ambiance by giving a warm soft glow.

 As one of my bloggy friends, Sharon (Infactuated with Home and Gardens) says- candles are meant to be lit.  Nothing worse than seeing a candle full of dust and a white wick. 

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 Can't imagine a wedding or formal event without them. Why wait  for a special occasion to burn them?

Here are two of my favorite brands.

Tyler Candle Company

Circle E Candle Company

If the music and candles don't win over my bunch, I might serve up a little bit of this-

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Posting to Valentine's Party at A Holiday Haven, Show and Tell Friday at My Romantic Home and Valentine's Day Songs at 5 Minutes Just for Me.

Follow up on my question of how to clean a chalkboard:  The very kind and thoughtful Sami from My Texas Nest sent me a link.  Seems Angeline at Country Kingdom has the answer.  Gotta love blogging.  Any answer you need is 2 blogs away.  Thank you ladies!

Back to the board- Chalkboards

Even though chalkboards have been exhausted, I'm not over them yet.  I'm joining Sixty-Fifth Avenue's Chalkboard linky party today.  She asked what messages we post on our boards. I tend to write on mine for the season.  This week, of course I'm all about Valentines and love.  Here are some other seasons.

I like some cloudiness on my board. But it's getting to be a little too much. What do you clean your chalkboards with?

Paris Anyone?

I'm taking a trip to Paris.  
Care to join me?  
Fly right over to this fabulous blog, Paris and Beyond.

The stuff fairy tales are made from.

Every photograph brings you a taste of Paris.

Stroll down the streets.

 A little pink car makes a Happy Pink Saturday 

at How Sweet the Sound!

Meet the beautiful Genie, world traveler, blog author and extraordinaire photographer.  

What led you to Paris?

J'adore Paris!  I have French blood and had always wanted to go there.  It was many years later that I actually went to Paris for the first time. I cried when I saw La Tour Eiffel.  I have been many times, trying to return two or more times each year. 

Have you ever lived there?

No, but I live vicariously through those that do. It almost felt like I did when I stayed in an exquisite apartment on my visit in December.

What is the most interesting or important thing you learned while in Paris?

The most important thing that I have learned in Paris is that you should take enough time to breathe in the atmosphere of the city, to notice the little things and the people, to enjoy the taste of a baguette still hot from the oven, to watch the world from a café terrasse.

Are you a professional photographer?

Although I am not a professional photographer, I grew up with a camera in my hand and years ago developed and printed my black and white studies.  I have a Nikon D70s with an 18-200mm lens for traveling, whether that be a city like Paris or a beach (yes, with sand) in St. Barth's, or a glacier in Argentina.  I lost a lens hood while hanging off the side of a Vaporetto in Venice.  If you have a camera, don't save it for "safe places" or you might miss something!

Is there any advice you can give for those of us who would love to visit Paris?

If you read the blogs, start a list of places you would like to see and things to do from those who visit/live there.  Study a travel guide; visit in non-tourist months, but not August; get a street map (like Michelin or Paris Pratique); learn a word or two of French, saying "Bonjour, Madame" as you enter a store; take lots of memory for your camera; take a travel journal and write about the little things you noticed such as the school children on the Métro; I should write a book...

Back to B-
I think a book would be marvelous!  This has made me want to go to Pairs more than ever!  How about you? In the mean time, go follow this lovely blog.  You can even learn a new french word every day with the audible translator on her sidebar. 
And I promise you will enjoy every piece of eye candy she hands out.

Merci beaucoup for allowing me to feature your blog, Genie!   

If you would like for your blog to be featured aka "B Listed," I'd be honored to do so.  Please leave a comment or email me.
  
**Side note to all of my wonderful friends- please make sure there is a link to your blog somewhere on your profile.  I have followers with names only.  It's nice to connect a blog to the face plus it helps me remember who you are and most importantly, allows me and others to follow you back. 

Think I'll go have a baguette now. 

As Genie would say-
Bises,

Cleverness

Yesterday, I was reviewing the alphabet with my preschooler and made up a little song. His immediate response was, "Mom, you are so clever."  It surprised me to hear him use the word "clever" in context. I love when that happens.  
And I love to be surprised with the cleverness of others.  Just like these adorable lights by reclaimedlighting.com  I first saw them on the BHG web site.  

So of course, I had to hop over to the lighting source to check them out.  They are not cheap.  Surely a clever person could copy the idea. 

Speaking of clever, there's one such lady who is making a difference for new bloggers.  The sweet Debbie at Debiedoo's Blogging and Babbling has a linky party up for newbies.  I plan to visit all of the party goers.

I'm so honored to have reached 300 followers!  In celebration, my 300th follower will be receiving a little gift.  It's Karryann from Gracefully Vintage.  Her blog and shoppe live up to that sweet name.  Go see for yourself. 

Thankful to have so many clever friends.  You inspire me.

The girl dreams again...

Elle Decor

 My last post on cozy spots got me to thinking of this.  I was gravitating towards the larger window seats and thought, why not a daybed?  Nice alternative, wouldn't you say?

Here's some pretty pink ones for Pink Saturday. 

The Bella Cottage

  Can you spell posh?  $8200 for your little princess-

Posh Tots

Love the juxtaposition of the pink and turquoise-

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Just look how comfy-

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Stylish in the middle of a room-

Domino

Make it shabby-

Country Living

Pottery Barn

Make it beautiful-

House Beautiful

House Beautiful

How about urban-

Rue

West Elm

 Maybe coastal-

Pottery Barn

Sarah Richardson

Even masculine-

House Beautiful

When my daughter was little, I couldn't wait to get her an iron daybed.  We have long since moved on but there's still a little girl inside of me who longs for one. Reality check:  I hated making up the bed on that thing.  It was so hard to tuck all the corners.  I have a feeling if I had one now, it would pretty much look like this-

Hmm..come to think of it, these days my king bed is starting to look like this.  Another one of those things that slides when I'm running late for work.  I won't tell you how often.  I was taught better.  My mom never left the house without first making the bed.  We could be on our way to the hospital and she'd stop to make up the bed.




Do you ever leave the house without making your bed?